Monday, October 30, 2017

the only sin is mediocrity

mediocrity |ˌmēdēˈäkrətē| noun (pl. mediocrities)
the quality or state of being mediocre

This is the definition of a word that I hope I never use to describe my life—mediocre. 
In fact, I’m actually afraid of it. 

To live a life of mediocrity, means that I would be settling for a life that is less than the one I am capable of living…and that, my friends, is my worst fear.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone has a different standard of life in which they can live up to. I’m talking about living your own individual life to the fullest potential…whatever that may be. 

We all have the potential to be anything that we want. 

Unfortunately, I think a lot of people end up living mediocre lives out of fear. People are afraid to go after their dreams, so they settle for a job they hate. People are afraid to be alone, so they settle for an okay relationship. People are afraid to be who they are, so they conform to “normal” just so they can fit in. 

I’ve been there—I get it. The insecurity, fear, doubt. It can be terrifying. 

However, take a minute and google on the internet, “Regrets of the old,” or “Top Regrets of the Dying…” You’ll notice that almost ALL of them have to do with not living the life that they wanted, not being who they truly wanted to be, not going after what they wanted…the list goes on.

For example, 

I wish I’d cared less about what other people think.

I wish I had accomplished more.

I wish I had told __ how I truly felt.

I wish I had followed my passion in life. 

I wish I had traveled more. 

I wish I’d taken more risks. 

….to name a few. 

I can confidently tell you that I have no regrets in my life. People always say, “Everybody has at least one regret.” Well, not this girl. Would I say I’m proud of all the decisions I’ve made? Maybe not…but I can tell you that I’m proud that I had the guts to make those decisions. Through the disappointments, the embarrassment and the tears, I grew. I have always followed every crazy idea I’ve ever had, I’ve never held back my thoughts, feelings or words, and I’ve spent a lot of time alone learning about myself and what I want out of life. And anything that I didn't do? Relationships that didn't work out? Well, it just wasn't meant to be. 

That’s where my move to Park City comes into play. I’m taking a chance, packing my bags and actually doing it. Growth is rather uncomfortable...but something that always seems to work out in my favor later on. Maybe this will be the best adventure of my life or maybe it won’t…but at least I won’t die wondering. 

If you’re reading this blog post and you have a dream, a wish or desire that comes to mind…I urge you to do it. Take that chance, buy that ticket, tell that person how you feel, dare to be yourself, love everything, find your passion…

But most of all, make a promise to yourself that you won’t settle. 
What you want is out there…if you’re willing to look, work and wait for it. 

“No amount of security is worth the suffering of a life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”

Keep on keepin’ on—
XX, Laura 

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

some other beginning’s end

Well, it’s official. I’m moving to Park City, Utah for the upcoming winter season. I went out to visit this past weekend with my parents and fell in love. It took me a good two (emotional) days to make a decision. It was one of those bittersweet decisions when you really want to do something but you’re afraid to let go of what you’re leaving behind. I was blessed with an incredible family (we’re tighter than tight) and I don’t really know life without them around…or in my case, across the street. But hey, if missing my family too much is my biggest fear, then I’d say that’s a good problem to have. 

It will be hard to say goodbye to my parents and my sister. My parents are my best of best friends. I literally talk to them everyday, multiple times a day. I could tell when I told them that they seemed excited for me but sad at the same time. I know they worry about me moving out west and never wanting to come home. I don’t think that’s going to happen…but never say never. I will miss them so much when I move. Winter is my favorite time to go over to my parents’ house. My mom always has easy listening music on—Michael Bublé, Frank Sinatra, Celine Dion (she also plays Christmas music until February). She always has something in the crockpot or oven so when you walk in the house it smells incredible. 
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in these past few years is that it’s okay to seek change. Something that we once loved or brought us joy at one point in our life may no longer bring us happiness. I love my hometown…so much in fact that I’ve spent the last 24 years here. However, I feel as though I’ve reached a level of complacency. I’ve come to learn that contentment and comfort prevent transformation. As a seeker, this does not do me any favors. This adventure has been a long time coming for me. I once read that when God wants you to grow, he will make you uncomfortable. I have been struggling for a few years now with the same scenario, the same problems…and I think it was God’s way of saying to me, it’s time to move on. 
When I get an idea or plan in my head, I always seem to run full force with it. I don’t half ass anything unless I don’t want to be doing it (which I’m trying to be better about). I’m not very good at living in the “gray” area of life. Sometimes I think too much in black and white. Hey, admitting is the first step, right? Moving out west to a ski town has always been a dream of mine. I’ve talked about it for years and now I’m finally walking the walk…and moving across the country, alone. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared, but the excitement definitely outweighs the nerves. 
I will miss home a lot…but I keep reminding myself that nothing ever grows in a comfort zone and I sure am comfortable here. Adventure is kind of my thing…and it’s time for me to move on from my little town, at least for a little while. 

Like Semisonic once said, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” 

Keep on keepin’ on—
XX, Laura 

“Maybe it won't work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever.”

Saturday, October 7, 2017

both a blessing and a curse

I’ve always been a bit unconventional with my thinking and decisions. I have never followed the standard path. I always seem to end up on the road less traveled. This has worked both to my advantage and disadvantage. At times, this lonely path has isolated me and made me question every life decision I’ve ever made. However, on the flip side, I’ve grown and evolved more than I ever thought I could by the age of 24. 

Someone once told me that I’m a “seeker.” I had never thought about myself like that, but I guess they were right. I can’t help but think about the deeper meaning in everything. I love learning about history. I love to travel, explore and adventure. I am passionately curious and a highly sensitive person, sometimes to a fault. 

I’ve never been a “surface level” kind of person. You know that corny quote you see all over Facebook and Instagram—“it is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply”—yup, well that corny quote is true.

I use to think being highly sensitive was a bad thing, almost like a weakness. However, throughout the years I’ve learned that it is actually a trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. Something I once wanted to change about myself, I now see as a gift.

Days when I feel lost and confused about where my path in life is headed…and at times when I feel like I want to give up…I remind myself that I have an extraordinary ability to “feel.” Something, someone, or somewhere in this world needs that…so I keep going. 

Or as I like to say..
Keep on keepin’ on—
XX, Laura