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Monday, November 20, 2017

rebel with a cause

Holy heck-a-roni—what a Monday! Park City is officially in holiday mode. I took for granted empty parking spots at the grocery store last week and minimum traffic up and down 224. Women in (real) fur vests filling up their carts at Whole Foods with Thanksgiving goodies, Christmas lights strung through the neighborhoods and a whole lot of kiddos running wild. I love it though—makes PC feel like home, even if I am 2,000 miles away from mine. 

This morning I went for an hour walk on the hiking trails. I listened to a podcast by Lewis Howes where he interviewed a woman named Gretchen Rubin. She is the author of a book called The Four Tendencies. Boy oh boy was it interesting. The “Four Tendencies” describes how we respond to expectations. We all face two kinds of expectations:

outer expectations, such as meeting work deadlines or observing traffic regulations

and inner expectations, such as quitting napping or keeping a New Year’s resolution

We are all 1 of the 4: 

Upholder: “I do what others expect of me—and what I expect from myself.”

Questioner: “I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t do it.”

Obliger: “I do what I have to do. I don’t want to let others down, but I may let myself down.”

Rebel: “I do what I want, in my own way. If you try to make me do something—even if I try to make myself do something—I’m less likely to do it.”

Wouldn’t you know, I took her quiz online and I am a complete rebel (shocker!). 
Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.

They choose to act from a sense of choice, of freedom. Rebels wake up and think, “What do I want to do today?” They resist control, even self-control, and usually enjoy flouting rules and expectations.

Rebels place a high value on authenticity and self-determination, and bring an unshackled spirit to what they do. Rebels work toward their own goals, in their own way, and while they refuse to do what they’re “supposed” to do, they can accomplish their own aims.

But Rebels often frustrate others because they can’t be asked or told to do anything. They don’t care if “people are counting on you,” “you said you’d do it,” “your parents will be upset,” “it’s against the rules,” “this is the deadline,” or “it’s rude.” 

In fact, asking or telling Rebels to do something often makes them do just the opposite.

The people around Rebels must guard against accidentally igniting their spirit of opposition—particularly challenging for the parents of Rebel children.

In fact, Rebels sometimes frustrate even themselves, because they can’t tell themselves what to do.


Man—if this isn’t me to a T! I have always hated being told what to do. I hate being under someone else’s watch. Having independence and the ability to be spontaneous is when I thrive. I have never liked trends, joining a sorority was NEVER on my to-do list and I hate planning too far in advance. 

From the words of Dita Von Teese, "I’ve always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be."

I never knew there was such a thing as the “Four Tendencies” but I am so glad I found that podcast today. I believe that the more we learn about ourselves and how we thrive in society, the easier life becomes. I know the “rebel” in me will someday be an entrepreneur, self-employed… or something, somewhere with no rules but my own. 

Try the quiz for yourself to see where you fit:

Keep on keepin’ on—
or in my case, rebelling.
XX, Laura 


Thanks to Gretchen Rubin for this sweet information.

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