Monday, August 19, 2019

how to be instantly more attractive

Attraction and looks is obviously important when attracting a significant other, but I totally believe there's so much more that can help attract the right person or people into your life. Here's what I've learned based on my experience: 

A genuine smile can literally light up a room. We’ve become a generation of people who have normalized the “resting bitch face.” And yeah, maybe you do have a rbf…but think about it, when you’re out somewhere.. are you ever attracted to a guy/girl that looks miserable, bitchy or angry? Hell to the no! I think when you’re generally happy and having fun, a smile comes naturally…and if it doesn’t, well think of something else that will make you smile and let it show. Someone who looks happy, friendly and approachable is instantly more attractive. 

sense of humor 
OMG—this is a top 5 for me! A guy who can make me laugh is 100x more attractive in my eyes than a guy who doesn’t. I have a guy friend who I don’t see a lot, but every time I do, he literally has me laughing out loud the whole night. I always leave him feeling so happy and lighthearted. Sense of humor is SO key—it shows that you’re fun and that you don’t take life too seriously. 

confidence confidence confidence 
This might be my #1 trait I notice in guy. Confidence is so sexy to me. Confidence (without cockiness) is how you sell yourself. When someone can show up and be who they are, own it, and exude an energy of, “I’m comfortable with me,” —that more than anything is so attractive. Someone with body confidence, good posture, a strong handshake, and just an all around good vibe helps too. Confident people are a breath of fresh air—a demeanor of coolness, an easy to be with vibe, an “I know I’m not perfect but that’s okay” kind of attitude. Confident people have an air of self-assurance that’s just attractive AF. 

a grateful stance in life 
This one has become more evident to me the older I’ve gotten, but someone who has a grateful stance on where they’re at in life is super attractive. This goes for any age, but especially your 20’s when things are confusing AF and you’re trying to figure things out and you may or may not be where you want to be, but if I meet someone and they’re okay and content with where they’re at while trying/working to get to where they want to go… totally attractive. Also, someone who realizes and appreciates the little things in life. Entitlement is the quickest way to have most people running in the opposite direction. Gratitude is everything. Living and loving life for the simple things = ultimate attraction. 

Looking at life through an optimistic view is way way waaaaaay more attractive than a pessimistic view. Someone with a bright and positive attitude is completely magnetic in my eyes. Someone with an upbeat “it’ll all work out,” kind of attitude is my kind of person. My dad and I love businessman Grant Cardone’s, “No Negativity,” saying that he stickers on his private jet. Negativity is draining. Positivity is enlightening and so attractive. 

smell good 
Literally had this discussion with my close guy friends a few weeks ago. We were pregaming before getting ready to go out and I saw one of their cologne’s sitting out. I sprayed all of them with a quick spritz of cologne and they were all like, “Lauraaaaaaa!” And I said, trust me…girls notice! And we do. As I’m sure guys do with girls as well. When someone smells good, you notice. It makes you want to linger around them a little longer. 

be present 
Unfortunately, this is something to be mentioned nowadays with the distraction that comes from our damn cell phones. Whether you’re out at the bar, on a date, hanging out with your friends…put your friggin’ cell phone down. This is actually one of my BIGGEST pet peeves in the world. When I’m out with a group of friends at a bar and someone is on their cellphone the entire time texting/calling/snapchatting whoever is NOT with us… I find that 1) annoying AF but more 2) disrespectful AF. I’m an old fashioned gal and if I could go back to the days before cellphones I would in a heartbeat, not going to lie. Focus on the company you’re with. 

be a good conversationalist  
Being able to carry a good, engaging conversation about literally whatever is so much more attractive than not being able to communicate at all. I once went out on a date with a guy who talked about himself the ENTIRE time. Don’t be that person. Talk about something that you both, or the group, can add to. Communication in friendships + love relationships is so key. 

be passionate about something 
Passion is something you love. Being passionate about something and sharing it with the world shows that you know what makes you feel good, what makes you feel happy, and what lights up your life. Passion is addictive and contagious. When I listen to someone talk about something they love with enthusiasm and excitement, it gets me just as excited for them as it does for me, even if I have absolutely no interest in what they like to do. That’s exactly what makes someone having a passion so attractive—doing it and loving it so much even if it doesn’t make sense to someone else. 

be fun 
One of my favorite qualities about a guy I once dated was his spontaneity to literally do and plan whatever. One weekend we’d be at a dive bar playing shuffleboard and darts, the next we were at a luxury hotel in another state. Someone who can be down with whatever is so attractive. When someone says, “Hey, you want to go out on the boat?” and without hesitation someone says back, “What can I bring?” THAT is attractive. That no questions asked, doesn’t matter who’s going to be there, I’m down for a good time kind of vibe. Those are honestly my favorite kind of people. Someone who is fun and easy to be with. 

I saved this one for last because it’s one that’s more easier said than done, no doubt. Vulnerability can be hard. Women tend to be more openly vulnerable than men. Men, it comes…with time. However, vulnerability is incredibly sexy, attractive and badass. I used to be scared of vulnerability because people can be judgy AF! However, what good does it do to hide yourself from the world and from people who may potentially love you? I’m a deep person—a deep thinker, a deep conversationalist... I don’t do well with the shallow shit. Being vulnerable has literally changed my life, and when I meet someone that can return the same to me (without judging), it’s incredibly attractive. 

I hope my perspective inspired you and made you realize you're way more attractive than you thought you were. 

All my love. XOXO

Keep on keepin' on

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