Saturday, October 26, 2019

50 things I wish I'd known sooner

Now, I know I'm far from old and wise, but looking back on my life after 26 years I think about things that I wish I had known sooner. It would have made my life a heck of a lot easier and a lot less confusing. So I decided to make a list of 50 things (trust me, I could have kept going) I wish I had known sooner in life. I also asked some people in my life and my Instagram followers what they wish they had known, I included those below mine. 

1. Hurt people hurt people

2. Be okay with being different, even if people think you’re weird (they will) 

3. Time is your biggest asset and it goes much quicker than you think 

4. Everyone’s smart in their own way, don’t let school fool you 

5. See it as it is — but don’t see it worse than it is 

6. Everything happens for you, not to you 

7. A person who values you will never put themselves in a position to lose you 

8. Learn to give without expectation, you won’t always be thanked or appreciated  

9. Your parents may love you but that doesn’t always mean they know what’s best for you

10. Don’t be so hard on yourself 

11. You need much less than you think 

12. Everybody is on their own timeline, you're not ahead or behind 

13. Bad times won’t last forever, neither will heartbreak 

14. Our childhood shapes who we become but we decide what we do from there

15. Listen to your dad when he tells you, “It’s going to happen when you least expect it.”

16. Money doesn’t change you, it changes the people around you 

17. You don’t have to ask for permission 

18. Don't look for love, look for your best friend and marry them

19. To be interesting you have to be interested  

20. Don’t be afraid to be the one who cares more

21. You should tell them how you feel 

22. The wound is not your fault, but the healing is 

23. Don’t outsource your self esteem 

24. Don’t be so afraid of rejection, rejection is much less painful than regret

25. You’ll never regret money spent on travel, books or concert tickets 

26. For the love of God, don’t go out drinking without eating first 

27. Nobody focuses on your flaws as much as you do

28. Blood isn't always thicker than water  

29. Forgive people, grudges are a waste of time and energy 

30. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no

31. Learn how to care less what people think about you 

32. The thing in your life you’re trying not to think about it, is the thing that needs healing 

33. Attracting attention is different than attracting interest 

34. Stop explaining yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you

35. Your mind is the most powerful tool you own 

36. Isolation is dangerous, don’t be afraid to let people in

37. You are worthy and you are enough 

38. The people that know the least about you, will always have the most to say

39. Your energy introduces you before you speak 

40. Do yourself a favor and take mixed signals as a no

41. If you have to force it, it’s not for you

42. How they treat you is how they feel about you 

43. You don’t always have to have a stiff upper lip 

44. Be thankful for those that look out for you without being asked 

45. Hatin’ bitches ain’t happy and happy bitches ain’t hatin’

46. Don’t get the popular circle confused with the winners circle 

47. Whatever you’re holding onto is holding you back 

48. Gut feelings are guardian angels 

49. Reach out to that person you miss- they might just miss you, too. 

50. Let it go 

Below is what the people in my life, as well as my Instagram followers, had to say… 

“That it may take a long time to decide what you want in life.” 

“It’s okay to be single. I feel like I was so focused on having a boyfriend I didn’t learn to love myself until later in college.” 

“Don’t try to impress anyone. Just be yourself and let life happen naturally for you.” 

“Material possessions do not mean success and that most you think have money are broke.
Oh and college doesn’t mean you’ll be rich.”

“There are good guys out there, wait for the one — don’t settle.” 

“You are where you are supposed to be.” 

“The friends you make in high school, very little of the time, become life long friends.” 

“That independence isn’t a flaw, it’s a strength.” 

“That veggies are fruits go bad very quickly.” 

“The only person’s approval you need, is your own.” 

“Dance like no one is watching.”

“Having thick skin is a must, and never take anything personal.” 

“Don’t make decisions out of fear.” 

“Leave that asshole.” 

“Things eventually work out.” 

“Wear sunscreen.” 

“Spend time with your grandparents.” 

“Hangovers get worse as you age.” 

The best thing about time is the knowledge and experience that comes with it. No matter what age you're at, maybe you can take one of these lessons with you. Life is not easy, but it is so worth it. 

Keep on keepin' on —XX, Laura

Monday, October 14, 2019

why you should be gentle with people

Every morning I wake up and the first thing I do is take my mini goldendoodle outside. I’m out there pretty early so I don’t usually see too many people. However, every so often I stumble upon men (sometimes women) sleeping on the ground—in alleyways, underneath stairs, trees, covered doorways… or mornings like today when I saw what I thought was a pile of garbage, but was actually somebody’s “blanket.” I only realized there was a person under there because I saw their feet hanging out. 

I do my best to not wake them up and hold my dog back from wanting to go over and sniff. As I walk away, I always get this weird, heavy, sad feeling. Here I am walking my dog down the street with my UGGs and matching sweatsuit outfit, only to go back to my cozy apartment where I have a king size bed, a full fridge, and an overflowing closet of too many clothes that I hardly get the chance to wear. Life has a funny way of humbling you when you need it most.

People tend to throw homeless people into categories, such as “drug addicts, failures, deadbeats.” We see these people out on the street in their dirty clothes asking for money and automatically assume that they’re some kind of lazy, no good loser. Our initial reaction is never, “How did they end up here?”

That got me thinking that we as a society tend to do this in general. 
We see what’s on the “surface level” of someone’s life and make assumptions without really knowing anything about them.

2019 has been a challenging year in my little world. However, I go about my days and deal with it, like most do. 

It makes me think—how many people go out into the world everyday and put on a brave face? How many people are out there walking around with a broken heart—dealing with loss, sadness, anxiety, depression, rejection, heartbreak—and nobody knows. How many people are out there feeling alone, feeling abandoned, feeling worthless, feeling like they have no friends, feeling like they have no where to go—and nobody knows. 

In the past six months, in my small little community alone, I know someone who lost a sibling to cancer, I know someone who got out of a broken relationship, I know someone who had a miscarriage, I know someone who became a single mom, I know someone who unexpectedly lost their dad, and another who unexpectedly lost their mom. I know a family who lost their father to a heart attack, I know someone who goes home to an alcoholic spouse every night, I know someone who’s in an unhappy relationship but too afraid to leave, and I recently met someone my age who’s estranged from their parents… all of that in the past six months, in a small, 25 mile radius. 

We interact with so many people like this in our day to day lives and most of us have no idea. We see them as coworkers, strangers, classmates, teachers, friends, workers, etc. 

I often think back on a time in my life a few years ago when I was in such a dark place. Ironically, it was also the same time someone complimented me on “always being such a happy person.” I remember thinking to myself, “If they only knew.”

No matter how someone appears on the surface, everyone is dealing with something.

It’s important to remember that:
You don’t know what people are going through.
You don’t know what other people have been through. 
You don’t know what burdens people in their daily lives.
You don’t know what happened to someone in their childhood. 
You don’t know what’s happened to someone in their adult life.
You don’t know what people have to go home to at the end of the day. 

Life is hard as it is. We all come with some sort of baggage, some worse than others. This is all the more reason to be kind, to be compassionate, to be patient, and most importantly, to be gentle with people.

XX, Laura