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Wednesday, February 19, 2020

whatever you’re holding on to is holding you back

I am in one of those transitional times of my life again where I find myself questioning—am I happy where I’m at? Am I happy where I’m living? Am I inspired? Am I challenged? Am I having fun? Am I who I want to be? Am I doing what I want to be doing? The list goes on… 

I kind of lived in reverse from most people my age. I tried going away to college, wasn’t my thing. I came home, got my 2 year degree at a community college in my hometown. I went to work for our family business. I had my own home at age 22. I partied occasionally, went out every few months (literally once, every few months). Took a few years to soul search and figure out who I was. I spent some time in other states—a westward road trip to Colorado, ski bumming in Utah, beach bumming in Florida. Realized I hated owning a home, eventually sold it. Got my first apartment in a small city. At 26 years old, I started to party every weekend. Meanwhile, most of my friends started to settle down—engagements (if they’re not already married), buying homes, having children (if they don’t already have one or two)—and I could not be happier for them—however, that is sooooo not where I’m at. 

I am in a wild phase of my life. I know it, my parents know it, and I’m pretty sure some of my friends know it. I’ve done things this past year that I’ve never done before—including living like I just don’t give a f. Questionable decisions, questionable moments, questionable people. I threw my cell phone number around like it was a coupon. I stayed out until 3 in the morning more times than I care to admit. I spent too much time in the sun. I drank way too much wine. Threw back a few too many tequila shots. I might have gained a wrinkle or two, lost some sleep, overloaded my liver with alcohol, and spent the most money I’ve ever spent on travel…but I can happily say, I have no regrets. 

My dad taught me a lot growing up, but something that always stuck with me was, “Pay attention.” Those two, simple words, pay attention—and pay attention I did. I am always observing people around me, people I’ve known forever, people I’ve known for 5 minutes, people in the news, acquaintances in my hometown, people I observe from afar. I’ve paid attention to marriages, friendships, people in their careers, level of happiness, etc. I’ve also studied language and body language. I’ve learned a lot by observing—a lot of good, a lot of not so good. I’m never going to judge another’s life (because I haven’t lived it), but I can observe what I see (and take note) and decide that that’s never going to be me. 

I am 26 years old and all I want to do is have the time of my life. 

I am not interested in settling down, getting married (anytime soon at least), having kids, owning a home, and most importantly, I am not interested in letting the fun stop anytime soon. I realize that that's not the norm for most women my age.

So what am I interested in right now? Living my life to the fullest, based on what I want that to be. Living life to the fullest looks different to everybody, but to me…that means going after my dreams, which includes having a successful blog, a lot of traveling (my first love), a lot of good food and wine, trying fun restaurants, exploring new cities, fun parties and events, snorkeling in Fiji (or Bora Bora, the Maldives, the Great Barrier Reef), going back to Monaco to witness the Grand Prix in Monte Carlo, going back to Italy to take a cooking class, going back to Greece (and hopefully on my honeymoon someday), visiting Ireland, Scotland, Germany, London (+sooo many other European counties), visiting every state in the US that I possibly can, eventually becoming a philanthropist, being the healthiest version of myself… (my long, long list goes on).

My point is, everyone has a different way of living their life. Society has a way of telling you, “this is what’s important,” but I’m telling you, f*ck society. You have to go with your heart. Go with your gut. What is it that you can’t stop thinking about? What do you want to do with your life? What’s most important? What are you afraid to do? What will make you happiest? Figure it out and find a way.

I had an hour (plus) conversation on the phone with my sister tonight and I told her my thoughts about where I’m at and what I want. She thinks I’m bat shit crazy…and I understand her point of view, but I don’t feel the same way. I never want to look back on my life and think, “I could have tried that,” or “I could have done that.” I joked with her that every crazy idea I’ve ever had, I did. Every place I wanted to move, I did. I am truly a girl with no regrets. Shit, not everything worked out in my favor… but I went for it, I tried. More often than not, I hear people say, “I always wanted to…but I never did.” In my humble, 26 year old, what does she know advice… don’t let that be you. Just f*cking go for it. Go against the odds. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” If you can deal with that consequence, then go balls to the wall with your decision. 

I’m going to end this post with a quote from my favorite bartender in Naples, Florida:
 “Whatever you’re holding onto, is holding you back.” 

Keep on keepin’ on—
XX, Laura

1 comment:

  1. You have lived an excellent life but me not even close

    ReplyDelete